with your own penis?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
