Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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