ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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