Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
