yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
