last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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