...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
