You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
