Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
