you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think my vagina is haunted
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
