ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
