Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
