I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
