best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize