dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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