Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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