I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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