Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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