are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
