You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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