I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I need to calm my uterus...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
