Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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