i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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