I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
