i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
