I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
we're so committed to being not committed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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