ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
