maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
