its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
