We won't sleep together?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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