Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
