You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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