so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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