so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
