No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
