i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
two words...techno handjob
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
