Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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