I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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