Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
