i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
