Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
