Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
