Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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