He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
