new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
