North Korea, Best Korea!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
