She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
