your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
