You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
