if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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