My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
