she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
